My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
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