I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
