I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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