she woke up with a sticky ear
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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