She is in my trunk
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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