Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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