so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
