I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
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So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
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Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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