someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
