That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
