A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
