you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
