Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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