i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
what is it with giant penises always finding me
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Found your dick twin last night
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Randomize
