The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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