Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I think your dad took our porno
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
