Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
