my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Randomize