Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
