ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
You ruined the universe
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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