well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
