Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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