Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
