does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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