You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
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