Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
