We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
