K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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