i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
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I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
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It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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