Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
