i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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