Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
