This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
