that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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