While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
