O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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