the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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