he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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