I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
