I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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