I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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