i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
