I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Randomize
