She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
