Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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