I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize