Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Randomize
