oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
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