My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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it's not cheating when I paid for it
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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