We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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