Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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