Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT