I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
