Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
