what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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