the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
