I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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