I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
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Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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