The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Randomize
