So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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