I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
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i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
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They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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