it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
