Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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