hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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