My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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