Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Maybe he injected his testicle?
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
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