For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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